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Written at Monday, May 4, 2009 | back to top

[ The 72th day in London - Windy ]

这两个礼拜我都过得非常平静 因为我们两都在忙..
我们就快一个月没联络了..
你是真的很忙 而我是想尽办法让我自己很忙..
我真的很努力想办法不去想..我一直告诉自己考试要到了..读书 读书 读书!
直到前三天 我终于忍不住了 我发了讯息给你..
你回我说 '你在忙'..我很伟大的说 :'那你去忙吧!'
就这样 我们又恢复了平静..
当时的我愣住了..那一种感觉又回来了..

曾经有很多朋友说 我是一个非常开朗的女孩
当时的我也大方承认我是..
但现在 我发现我 不是了..
刚才班上有个朋友说 我像个会走路的洋娃娃..
我竟然一点点开心也没有..
换做是以前的我 我会开心得睡不着..
也许 你看到我是笑着的 但其实不是那么一回是..

这两天我一直不断的 重复的 问我自己..我是不是应该就这样算了..
我又不是没人要 为何要搞到自己那样纳闷 不开心!
要我放弃我做不到..
要打电话给你 我又怕打扰你
写了信 又删掉..
有时我真的很讨厌我自己那么懦弱!
我不能再让自己想些有的没的..

我决定了..我会把那封信放回去
至于你会不会看到那就 随缘
我给我们两一个期限
截止日期是我的生日那天
由今天算起总共是208天..
在这几个月里我会不去想它..
如果直到那天你都还没表示 我就知道是时候了..

我真的很希望我的21岁生日会带给我好运..
我也希望 我会得到一份很特别的礼物..

今年的生日也许会是我最快乐的一次..
或也许会是我最不想记得的一次..