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Written at Sunday, April 19, 2009 | back to top

[ The 57th day in London - Sunny day wit rainie Mood ]

I. am. so. very. bored.
I wanna type an emo post after this. Why? NO REASON. I just wanna do it Haih.

Could you live with yourself after everyone has seen through you..The transparent you..No secrets.. shadows to hide out.. Nothing...Just you.. and you..

Stand infront of the mirror.. Look at the person staring right back at you..Could you meet those eyes?If you could,what did you seee then? Sadness? Loneliness? Pain? Suffering? Happy with what you see?

take out layers of make-up, eyeshadow, eyeliner, lipgloss and everything unnatural about u.. Behind that fake identity and unreal personality, that's the real you.. If you were that unmasked person for just an hour, could you bear it? Allowing the world to see who you really are for the first time after a long a while..will you?

When your friends see you.. what would happen then? Will they ignore you?Call you lame for being the way you are? Would they treat you like a can of finished COKE?Maybe if you're lucky they will only be verbally hurt you.. Sometimes,yourself assuraance drops so lowit's as though it could never recover.. What then?run far awaaaay?

But in actually fact,who are we? Again.. I can't answer who i am. *suddenly remind me about michael wong's song - 'i am who i am'*

Though i may say,I'm min fang.So? Who's she? A thousand minfang out there..Another nobody?She isn't worth anything..What does she know?Nothing. sleeping perhaps?She's not cool. I don't like her.. She's lame.. What a bitch. Useless. Hopeless. Fake. Unreal. In denial. Not good enough for anything..isn't she?

I don't think i'm pretty enuf.. slim enuf.. tall enuf.. smart enuf.. fat enuf.. short enuf.. lame enuf.. cool enuf.. mature enuf.. enuf enuf enuf..we're never enuf!If we live by the world's standards.. we're never enuf.. It's judgement from others about you.. No, i'm not saying it's bad to get a second opinion but it's living by those opinions that make it very unheallthy..

If you know what i'm talking about,i pray the next time you see somebody that reminds you of this..You heelp them out. Before it's too late for them. before they lose that hope and will to live.. Save them.. Rescue them. Just because nobody did it for you, doesn't mean you have to do it to others.. Remember that.. There's hope. The heart of the matter, is the matter of the heart ..

So the next time you wonder who you are, don't wonder so long..Just say with confidence like i will. I'll say i'm min fang. I am a somebody. Someone who has feelings too. Who cares.. who feels.. who listens.. who dreams.. who wants.. i'm just like you! I'm going to live for me!not anyone else.

Didcha got me?