859...
I have thoughts...
I don't know if anyone else feels this way but I often find that I'm a coward.
I always tell people that if you don't take the risk, there is no way you can achieve the what you want. You have to give some, take a chance and then only be rewarded..no shortcut..
I always ask myself : what am i doing now? What held me back? Why didn't I?
I never did..i was afraid. afraid of what?
As usual. That's what I think. That's how I feel.. I always think I'm being compared, or that other people will. I mean, won't they?
Let's face it, nobody likes to feel common. Especially me. Which is exactly why I try not to go for something everyone else seems to be heading for. Might explain why I doing ACCA instead of a degree, why i loves horror movie, why i loves you and why i have never read Harry Potter. Everyone wants to be special, important and to feel like they are worth something. Either me.
I guess I knew it all along, so I didn't say or do anything. I denied it all the time. Maybe I was trying to tell myself that if I told the whole world, maybe I would believe it too. But the question is, why didn't I say anything?
I mean, if I had work harder, I might've been able to move on. But I didn't do any of those. Instead, for two long dreadful years I was tight. It's so stupid now..
Is anyone still wondering why I didn't? because I didn't want to become just another number. To be counted as girl who had an unrealistic dream. I would've sounded so insignificant that way. To be forgoten in just an instant. I wanted to be someone more. To be remembered. To be important. To matter. I wanted to be seen, heard and felt.
It was easier to be the lovely girlfriend instead of a girl who has dreams.