It is so hurtful to be stabbed by a knife, don't you think? But sometimes you just have to take in the pain without saying a word. I remember my statement of 'I've been in pain so frequently, I can never feel pain anymore'. What kinda lie is that? Wow... I'm really surprise at how good I can possibly lie to other people but can't lie to myself. Amazing...Just amazing...I believe that whoevar said that particular phrase felt the same way I did when I don't wanna feel anymore pain, but it keeps coming in.
As a matter of fact, words had killed quarter of me. And I trust it will soon be half. I guess I'm pretty much dead, but thanks to my good talent in putting up a happy-go-lucky mask, I'm glad to say I'm "alright". So, don't worry about me. It's all good yo, go do ur stuff..!
Honestly, I don't wanna hurt anyone's feelings through this particular blog. But if I do, I'd apologise and please don't hesitate to take your weapon to deepen my wounds. Oh don't worry, I think it should be fine. Oh well, after all I've felt how painful it is, isn't it?
Recently i think a lot..my study my future my family my fren my relatioship..i decided to continue my study @ UK..probably will leave in march 09..i told my parents wat i want and they juz smile n said 'u are big enuf..decide urself ok..we will always support u =)'i really cant wait for the day i leave m'sia..but i'd worry alot of thing..es my family..i don wan to miss out every single thing happend on them..i wan to spend every moment wit them..juz like my grandma..my parents..they are getting older.and my sis bro n the small gal..i wan to see her grow up step by step..i really scare after one or two year i come back our relationship will change..
yesterday went out met the two 'UK' ppl..they left m'sia for almost one year dy..so i asked them : 'so now u guys back here..will u feel unusual wit ur family?' hmmm...dilemma T.T
and i met a guy recently..everyone seems like him so much..everyone thought he n me r going out..y...izzit really no frenship btw guys n gals?nop..i don think so..i believe it does..i really tired of tis topic dy..i was thinking y i wan to explain so much???? y not i juz admit it and they juz will keep quiet and end tis topic..ya..i might fall in love wit him but tat will only happen if he willing to and not now..juz let it comes natural and goes natural ok ppl?
next month..Someone I trust most is gonna leave . But, it's not like I can blame it on her. She is going to fight for her future..What's there to blame, anyways? She'll go away from me one day. I don't know who else I can trust other than her. Other than God too, of course. -sigh- She's like my own relative. Don't start wondering and assuming who that is and don't even think I'm a lesbian cause I'm not. I just hope she won't go away...
Thoughts....
~Sometimes I want to tell people of what I feel and what I've been bothered about, but who other than her-has a pair of true listening ears?
~Sometimes I feel like falling and sometimes have fallen, but who other than her would sincerely pick me up or lend me a helping hand and say "It's ok, things will be alright." T.TSunway U condo.Side pool